5 Least Known Risks of Dating a Divorced Man
By Mary Kitonga
Dating a divorced man is a hard game. Some people wonder if their second relationship will be as firm as the first one, while the majority will 'try the game' for fun, without minding the hazards thereof. It's wise to understand that there are risks in dating a divorced man, like any other break-up.
Let's reflect on the 5 top dangers of dating a divorced man.
1. Putting His Children Before You
You cannot separate a man from his blood children unless he is mad. It is his responsibility to care and protect them, a sign of proper parenting. You'll realize that most of the time, the man will be glued and concerned with the kids more than you, which will mean that you won't get the full attention from him. The kids may also be notorious to you, especially if they are grown-ups. Relying on them or spending time with them may be a day-dream since you are not their 'real mother.' The children also are very aware that you took the position of their mother. The feeling is sad, and they may end up not respecting you at all, however long you may stay with their dad.
2. Still in Love with The Ex
Forgetting the former lady may sound like a fantasy! You'll find that the man gets angry whenever you say any evil word against his former wife. Again when you text, the guy takes so long to respond to your texts. And, he drops your demands and expectations at his ex's requests. You may find him also canceling a vital date or promise. If you come across these signs or any other related to them, understand that you are in the wrong place, and anything worse can happen! Flee for you peace.
3. Too Afraid of Being Wounded Again
Does your relationship have ups and downs? Does the man suddenly withdraw from you? Especially after both of you had a remarkable date/intimacy? Then kindly understand you are in danger! The man may never trust you. The guy keeps on flashbacking on the past. That's why he withdraws. He is fearful that the same may happen, and he finds himself alone again. The guy also worries that his kids may be left without someone to care for them. He also fears that you may torture his children, especially in his absence.
4. You'll Always Be Placed the Last
Get it from me, you may not be told that you are the last in the house, but you’ll feel it. After all, you may do or give to this man, he won't regard you as the first lady! The first woman she had has a permanent knot in his heart, which no one can break. That's why, regardless of how your bond stands, you'll never be that a significant person in his mind. The first woman she had will always remain the mother to his kids, regardless of whether he hates or loves her.
He will not reciprocate your love affection back, not because he isn't willing, or he hates you, but because his first special affection eroded when divorce slunk in. The man will prove to love, provide, and care for you, but the truth is that his mind is some meters away from you. His mind is focused on the kids, not on you! And you'll always be rotating in that pattern of 'the last outcome.'
5. You Will Be Cursed
Young ladies, listen to me well here! You may leave a life full of problems despite the man proving to love you. Why? Remember, the first woman was the ideal lady for the man you are living with right now. Living with this divorced man is termed as ‘snatching him’. In other words, you are a robber. That lady who you may assume and think she was not the right one will always curse you. Her children also will curse you for taking their mom's position.
You'll be sure that the wealth you may have or promises from that man will be of no use. Your life may be too short since you'll have no peace. Reason? Because you are enjoying someone's position illegally. The Holy Scriptures clarifies that a man should marry only one wife, and unless she dies, the man shouldn't remarry. Each man should have his own wife, and each wife her own husband.
Bringing it Home
There are so many potential men out there. Don't marry any divorced man. The consequences may be too many and hard to bear. Knowledge is power; therefore, open your eyes and meditate upon the tips above. It's better to prevent than to cure.