What to Expect When Dating an Older Man
By Rebecca Schmidt
Dating is never easy because it’s rare to find someone truly compatible with you. Even if you’ve found someone attractive, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there will be a meaningful spark between the two of you. Though, what if you’ve found someone compatible, but he’s slightly older than you?
As alluring as it is to date someone with a higher level of emotional maturity, some uncertainties may have crept into your mind. If so, fret not for we’ve got you covered. It’s perfectly fine to date an older man and it’s equally normal to feel worried as well. We’ve compiled ten things you should expect when getting serious with your new bae. Read on to find out more about how dating someone older differs from dating someone within your age range.
1. Communicate Openly
It’s not uncommon to find yourself more closed up as you mature. Holding back on your words seems much more bearable than voicing your discontent; it feels easier to sweep your problems under the rug than deal with bickers and uncomfortable confrontation. However, when dating an older man, you’ll find that it is easier to express yourself. It will feel refreshing because you’ll no longer need to bottle up your emotions or play guessing games. The two of you will get to enjoy open communication and he’ll definitely be there to listen to you.
2. Lesser Judgment
When you date an older man, you’ll discover that he is much less judgemental of who you are as a person. Not only will you get to speak your mind more often, but he’ll also be more accepting of your sense of individuality. With age comes maturity, so older man are more self-accepting towards themselves and the people around them.
Maybe you’ve always struggled with being a little more eccentric than your peers, or maybe your exes have once said that they never could understand that side of you. It can be hard to be at peace with your own quirks but dating an older man will help you to realize that you don’t need to be like everyone else — and the best part is that he’ll love you as you are!
3. A Better Sex Life
Chances are, he’ll be way better in bed compared to your exes. He’ll have enough experience to pinpoint what’s working and what’s not. You won’t have to put up with bad sex and fake your pleasure because he’ll make sure you’re feeling good too.
Plus, if you’re sick of feeling used for unsatisfying sex by guys your age, you’ll be glad to know that older men tend to crave a stronger emotional bond. The reason why older men prefer emotional bonds over physical chemistry is because they’ve been through enough; enough to know that a relationship is far more valuable when built on emotional connections. To top things off, the better the emotional connection, the better the sex.
4. More insightful perspectives
Older men have gone through way more life-experiences than you have, so they’ll be able to provide you with a comforting hug and wise advice when you’re down in the slumps. This will save you tons of trouble picking yourself up, and you’ll get to overcome your problems much quicker. He’ll be there to help you ride through the tough times and go through your ups and downs with you — all with the added benefit of giving his valuable insights.
5. Greater Patience
With maturity comes a greater acceptance for life in general, which means older men tend to be more patient with whatever goes on around him. Especially in today’s hectic workforce, your older man’s calm demeanor will balance your frantic self. He’ll help you realize that life feels more tolerable when you learn to relax, slow down and simply be patient.
6. Sharing Personal Growth
It’s undeniable that sometimes, couples with a small age-gap can get competitive with each other. The desire to outdo your significant other can cause you to become more egoistic in the relationship — which won’t be too healthy for you or the relationship in the long-run.
When your man is much older, they’ll be much more established; so you won’t have a reason to compete with him. Instead of chiding you for being competitive, they’ll even encourage you to push yourself to greater heights.
7. Their Past
Be honest and direct if you want to know more about their past. Don’t hide any questions or feelings — you’ll need to know as much as possible in order to determine if he’s truly the one for you. He’ll be glad to open up to you since he also understands the importance of compatibility.
Talk to him to find out what expectations he had for his ex-wife or children, or what you’d like him to expect after you’ve known more about his past. If he has a history of infidelity, keep your eyes peeled so that you’ll be extremely cautious in looking out for patterns in this relationship.
8. More Certainty
While he'll be glad to accommodate your needs and put you first, there will be times when he may come off as stubborn. The older one is, the more he knows himself and the more likely he’ll have a certain way of doing things. However, since your man is someone who appreciates open communication, don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel. The two of you can talk things out and discover greater levels of compatibility when you’re able to be honest with him.
Generally, dating older people gives you a stronger sense of stability. They’ve been through enough to understand themselves so they’ll have a certain consistency in their way of life. This will ensure that they’ve got a great foundation, which also means that you’ll get to experience stability when you’re dating them. In comparison to dating someone younger, who is more likely to be figuring his life out, an older man will provide you with reassuring dependability and reliability. He would have already figured his life’s direction out and can thus support you with finding yours!
10. Clarity and Balance
Having experienced more ups and downs in life, an older man will be able to help you to be more balanced. They know that life doesn’t necessarily get better when you take it too seriously; it actually feels more magical when you’re able to live in the present and take everything in your stride.
Even though dating an older man has its perks, every relationship requires effort to make things work. Dating an older man is quite similar to dating a Capricorn man, so if you aren’t familiar with this type of driven overachievers, read here! Having said that, don’t be afraid to date an older man; you’ll never know if he might just be the kind of guy that you’re looking for! Just remember to keep your eyes wide open so that you’ll save yourself from unnecessary heartbreak; always be mindful of what you want and your dream relationship will come naturally.