member offline PragmaEros
42, Kansas City
3

member offline PragmaEros: I'm sincere so excuse my current skepticism about this site.


Basic:
42 year old Man, 6'2"(188 cm)
Seeking:
Woman, for Lets Hang Out / Chat / Friends
Ethnicity:
Caucasian
Body Type:
Athletic
Personality:
Poet
Profession:
Tech
Education:
Some College/University
Religion:
Non-religious
Misc:
Non-smoker, Drinks Sometimes, Drugs Sometimes
Match Summary:

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More Details:

Martial Status:
Divorced
Hair Color:
Blond
Eye Color:
Green
Longest Relationship:
Over 10 years
Second Language:
No Second Language
My Exercise Habits:
I Don't Exercise Often
Has Children?
No
Want Children?
Undecided
Has Pets?
No Pets
Has Car?
Yes
Political Views:
Anarchist
Postal Zip Code Area:
64133, MO

About Me:

I feel a force-feedback loop of intimate pleasures. Well, it's been a little more than three years for me. Just shift the tense in your perception accordingly. Besides, if I suddenly found a partner meeting my criteria; I doubt I'd suddenly find myself devoid of this key element which defined the internal environment in which my sexuality has always existed. Early experiences left me disappointed as I felt any praise was patronizing. Interpreted as insincerity through my ignorance I developed a self-consciousness that's persisted well beyond realizing I'm alone in what I experience with another. It's that lack of shared experience along with the binding attribute of understanding that leaves me sensitive to being "abnormal". Despite knowing others could consider it a gift, talent or metaphysical ability I feel no pride or harvest even a nano-boost of self-worth. This is my effort not to shrink away from the reality of who I am as a feeling, sexual creature. I only want to be content in how I experience another.

When I say "force-feedback loop" I'm being literal. It wasn't like that at first. I would just get double the pleasure when it was good, double the disappointment when it wasn't all it could be. During my sexual development, as with all behavior, the reward conditioned responses that culminated in exponential increases of gratification. At least I'm normal in the fact that most of my sexual life was lived on instinct while rewards and disappointments informed my behavior. Nevertheless, I eventually became aware that I was experiencing my own pleasure increased by my partner's pleasure increased by the pleasure I caused my partner. Awareness that was sparked out of the shock of a c*m-monsoon of an o*gasm. Each body-shuddering d*ck-spasm erupted load after load up to eight to ten feet across the room. I hadn't even been touched. Instead, I was doing the touching and that touching was being guided by her pleasure that I could feel. She wasn't aware of how her pleasure was mine. Think about how much you'd feel with mutual touching if you were an abnormal like me. You get the sensations from your own arousal through your own senses as they're stoked into a building pressure of erotic pleasure until gratification ignites through your every nerve. Plus, feeling your partner's sensations as your own. Then, channeling that blissful intensity back into your partner based on the feedback you're already feeling by giving.

I feel I've butchered the description of my abnormality enough for the time being. I'll discuss the variables next time I'm so inspired. When you or your partner can't quite breach the levee so the peak is frustration instead of elation for them. Anything less than the sensation of both of your orgasms reverberating as one to your senses becomes half the experience you had in mind...