xbadbxcathax: The kindest of Monsters
The corona virus pandemic has had a large impact on the ticket industry due to the nearly complete shut down of performance driven events. Gifting me with a wealth of time at my disposal and the blessing of the devils idol hands. Giving ample opportunity to entertain the slightly more debaucherous passions that possess the creativities that flow throughout the phantasmagorias of my perverse mind.
I identify as a demisexual who’s formed an emotional connection to sex itself (If that makes sense). I love sex! In nearly every way it is or could be with a focused yet faceted passion. I feel a deep immersion in it’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ecstasy. I feel both fulfilled and empty when the sensual pleasure of a lovers touch cradles my soul, and desire floods my aura. My mind becomes unburdened of anything that’s outside of this embrace and becomes acutely observant of a vast universe of inside it, glutinously absorbing sexual bliss from every possible way imaginable burning through my pleasure centers like a California wild fire. I feel a true and natural state of existence when being intimate with a partner.
Strangely. And also polar to what I’m lead to believe a demisexual is. I’ve found myself to feel more connected to the intimacy of people who are new to me. And less connected as familiarity grows. Maybe it’s the blank canvas. Maybe it’s easier to connect with a person before knowing the person fades the desire to further and it’s easier to know someone’s soul without their personality in front of it, or to know their heart without their thoughts and ego cluttering the way to it.
Whatever it may be I’m a demisexual who is more likely to form an emotional bond with a stranger than friend.
It’s possible I’m broken and no longer possess the ability to love another person romantically but have so much love in my heart to give it simply redirected it’s outlet to the romance itself and perhaps that’s why I often feel alone with friends and an insatiable hunger for affection with a lover. The love simply isn’t reaching me and my soul is starving for it. What if I could heal and broken doesn’t mean forever. And what if I could show the world what love is through erotic content? What if I could somehow reflect the love I feel for sex through pornographic and erotic projects? I’m going to give it every thing I have, every time and I may never heal my heart or guide another to feel what’s in it.. but I’m going to enjoy every goddamn kinky second of it!