Maturity doesn’t come with age (18)

So here we all are, seeking our lasting mate. Hopefully, we have learned from our previous amorous experiences and have come out them wiser. But is that true? When Doris Day said to Johnny Carson that the many romantic characters she played in film were “not human”, -her words- was she speaking the truth? I believe she was because we were all led to believe that romantic love was the measure of all things. It’s not until after marriage and when romance diminishes we realize that being in a relationship is far more complicated than we thought. We can look back and realize that what we thought was love was not love at all. We were driven far more by loneliness, by insecurities, lack of self-esteem, idealization, and especially neediness. British philosopher Alain De Botton has a YouTube video titled “on love”. His one hour talk is funny, thought-provoking, insightful, and truth revealing. He reveals to us that the many stories of romantic love that were spoon-fed into us since childhood by the film and novel industry has done us more harm than good.
Then you have the foremost authority on relationships, Esther Perel, who is informing that our present understanding of love is not up to the task in developing a long-term healthy relationship.
And so the question arises, what is love? As I see it, there’s a difference between loving somebody MORE and loving somebody BETTER. Any person can say to a loved one, I love you with all my heart and mind, or I love you more than anything in the world -or some such. But such statement of love is more sentiment than reality. Anyone can FEEL enormous love for another person, but loving this person BETTER is quite another matter. And so, if we really want to love others better, we must then ask ourselves what is it that is in us which prevents us from doing so? If we dig in deep enough with the spirit of humility and sincerity, we begin to discover our unconscious hindrances (that were glaringly obvious to others outside ourselves). We also discover that there is more to love than we thought possible. Learning to love better is a lifelong quest. It requires a great deal of humility, sincerity, undivided attention, compassion, empathy, and an extreme passion for the truth -no matter how we may feel of the outcome. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people don’t know this. And even if they did, they don’t take the incentive to love BETTER than they did before. Then we wonder why true love is so hard to find. There’s just too many people who have lost the script as to what constitutes a lasting healthy relationship. And so what do you do? As for myself, I’ve been living alone for the past 25 years. Not because I wanted it that way, but because it has been impossible for me to find a woman who understands what I just said. Anyone reading this might think that I’m asking too much. But am I really? Considering the high divorce rate and the enormous difficulties men and women encounter in relationships -as Esther Perel Points out time and time again-, We are actually asking too little of ourselves by taking on this idea that we know enough about love hence no one needs to tell us anything more. I beg to differ. The more we understand what constitutes true love, the wiser and more mature we become -hence we become better at loving others. And so, is there a woman reading this and understands what I’m saying? If so, perhaps we could meet and talk further about it.

If you're looking for a woman who can truly love a man you won't find her. Women fall in love with how you make them feel and not the actual man you are because if the way you make them feel ever changes she will move on. In some cases all it takes is for her friends or social media to convince her that she deserves something from you that you can't or won't provide and she will leave and try and find someone who will.

A couple of common reasons women leave is if the man loses his job and it takes to long to find a job or he gets a lower paying job. The other is if he ends up with long term illness or for some even a short term one is enough. In all actuality anything that causes a woman to see her man as weak will cause her to lose respect for him. Once it's lost a man will never get it back and the relationship is soon to be no more. Nowadays you only borrow a woman because she's always on the hunt for a better man or the opportunity to leave the relationship better off financially by taking as much of the mans resources as she can. Current divorce laws encourage women to do that and many are more that happy to take advantage of them.

On the other hand men are born to find a woman, marry her, raise a family and stay with them through thick and thin. And if need be, die for them. The fact that men are willing to die for their family is the true measure of love. Women's willingness to leave at the drop of a hat shows little to no ability for true love.

Wow 2 guys that have to write a book trying to convince others to see it there way. What both of there said is not true. A woman doesn’t leave a guy just because his new job pays less or he doesn’t bring her flowers. A girl leaves a guy if he stops pleasing her. Lick her pu**y and make her c*m several times every week. She will be happy. c*m in her mouth once a week and she will be happy. That’s all it takes.

"Que Sera, Sera" "What will be, will be" as Doris Day would sing.
Doris Day married Rock Hudson. Made as much sense as Michael Jackson marrying Presley. One of Hollywood's best kept secrets that Rock Hudson was gay. Who knows one's motives for marriage? People fall in and out of love. The Bible says that husbands are to love their wives. The Bible also tells older women to teach younger women to love their husbands. I do not think this is much being done. Government does a poor job of regulating morals. No one much follows the Bible especially the government. The Bible says that women are to go free without payment of money and that a guy gets to keep his house. (Exodus 21:11, Deuteronomy 24:1-4) But the government does not follow that. Moreover, in the Bible, it is the husband who writes a certificate of divorce, not the wife, nor the government. So much for Freedom of Religion. Governments do much to destroy families with their anti-Bible policies. It is a Flip-Flop, Topsy-Turvy World where right is wrong and wrong is right. The Bible says, Isaiah 5:20, "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." Now days, we place male for female and female for male. A man can divorce his wife and marry a man, and a woman can divorce her husband and marry a woman, and back and forth. We have gender fluidity and moral fluidity. We call right wrong and wrong right. There is not much hope for the human race in the course things are going but government is doing a poor job of governing. They make the world worse. It is life outside the Garden. Life was better inside the Garden of Eden. But we all are deceived. Anyway, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and no one follows the Bible anymore.

"Lonely man cries for love and has none." Words within poetry in the Moody Blues song "Nights in White Satin".

Proverbs 20:6
Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?

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Wow 2 guys that have to write a book trying to convince others to see it there way. What both of there said is not true. A woman doesn’t leave a guy just because his new job pays less or he doesn’t bring her flowers. A girl leaves a guy if he stops pleasing her. Lick her pu**y and make her c*m several times every week. She will be happy. c*m in her mouth once a week and she will be happy. That’s all it takes.

My intention was not to dish out some kind of mandate to convince anyone of anything. What I said was merely a perspective, an opinion, as to why I believe men and women have lost their way in creating lasting relationships. By making the rather misguided assumption that all women need is to satisfy them sexually -as you pointed out so graphically-, is precisely the reason why women are discouraged and demoralized by men. Men fail to realize that there is more to women than just sex- even if women are not fully aware of it.

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"Lonely man cries for love and has none." Words within poetry in the Moody Blues song "Nights in White Satin".

And who isn't lonely? In fact, we are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic and Covid-19 made it worse. Gone are the days when I lived in Philadelphia and I'd go to the Latin dance clubs in the city and in NJ. I even had a girlfriend....Nobody dances anymore, there are no places to socialize and it has become impossible to find close friends. Maybe it's my introvertedness but one thing is for sure, something is very wrong in the way we go about or lives and it's not normal.

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My intention was not to dish out some kind of mandate to convince anyone of anything. What I said was merely a perspective, an opinion, as to why I believe men and women have lost their way in creating lasting relationships. By making the rather misguided assumption that all women need is to satisfy them sexually -as you pointed out so graphically-, is precisely the reason why women are discouraged and demoralized by men. Men fail to realize that there is more to women than just sex- even if women are not fully aware of it.

Most men have not lost their way, it's women who have lost their way. Feminism has fooled them into thinking that concentrating selfishly on themselves is going to set them free. But it hasn't. What it's done among other things, is given them an unrealistic view of their value in the dating and marriage market place. That has caused them to think most men are beneath them and only the best of the best men qualify. That has put them in this limbo where they are jumping into bed with Chad's and Tyrone's while waiting for that unicorn of a man that doesn't exist for most of them.

All the while most men are left out in the cold, but that's due the the women not the men. Many men like myself have educated ourselves about what's really going on out there and have chosen not to waste our time trying to find the unicorn woman that likely doesn't exist for us. We recognize that we are not a Chad/Tyrone or even a one percent-er. We don't let woman take advantage of our kind generous nature. We don't give women anything unless she gives something first. Only women that have demonstrated they are of good moral character catch our eye. We see most women as just an annoyance clothed in a physically attractive package.

You are wrong again Mr 10,000 words saying nothing. Women are great, many are beautiful and those that suck and swallow are especially beautiful!

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You are wrong again Mr 10,000 words saying nothing. Women are great, many are beautiful and those that suck and swallow are especially beautiful!

Women can be beautiful. But with your blatant in you face fetishes that you spread all over this site. It's clear you know nothing about what women want. It's likely you've never been with a woman unless you paid for her by the hour. You will probably never have a real relationship with a woman unless you change. But you won't because your sexual proclivities will continue to rule your life and that will keep them away.

Oh yea Mr expert. It’s likely your wife left you for another guy and it’s likely that your bullshit is why and it’s likely that you will never get it. lol you are so predictable.

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Oh yea Mr expert. It’s likely your wife left you for another guy and it’s likely that your bullshit is why and it’s likely that you will never get it. lol you are so predictable.

You'd like to think that my wife left for valid reasons but you'd be wrong. But that won't change your demented believes. In my 63 years I've bedded more women than most because I'm an attractive, intelligent and charming guy that knows more about women then you ever will. I could have continued bedding women but My goal was to find and marry a quality woman. And I did at least for awhile. My marriage lasted 28 years and likely would have lasted longer but my ex did what most women do when confronted with their spouse developing health problems. And that was to try and find someone to replace me.

But now she's alone, overweight and swimming in debt. You to are likely overweight but in your case living in your mommy's basement drunk on cheetos and root beer wacking off to gay porn. But by estimation you two are a match made in heaven. I'm sure you'd love to do a 60 year old fat woman that reminds you of your mother wouldn't you?

And I have only bedded one.

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And I have only bedded one.

If you were a western women you be a unicorn.

Wow off grid d*ck head. You are really into yourself. You should get ahold of yourself with your right hand and pull hard cause nobody else wants to touch you. Beddit g more than most. Wow what a claim! Hope you believe your stories cause no one else dies

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Wow off grid d*ck head. You are really into yourself. You should get ahold of yourself with your right hand and pull hard cause nobody else wants to touch you. Beddit g more than most. Wow what a claim! Hope you believe your stories cause no one else dies

It matters not what someone like you believes about me. I know and Gods knows what I've done and what God knows is the only one that matters because if I lie then I will have to deal with the consequences of those lies.

Yep! The consequences for what we do.